Phelicity's Wisdomisms

Mew know how dey say a kitty has nine lives? Well, it does mean the obvious but it means something else, too. Who says we only gets to liff one at a time? I haf at least 4 going on right now, and that's when I'm awake. I haf my life at home wif my mom, my furry busy and exciting social life wif my furriends and furmily, my purrfessional career as a ballerina and flamenco artiste, and my work as one of the purrprietors of a dance studio, dance teacher and costume designer. How I could possibly haf so much time to bat my eyes at boys and eat tissue paper ..... is... uh, ....beside the point. Let's just say that, at 13 years old, I'm a quite sophisticatted girl (being liddle and short is beside the point) and I knows lotsa things (furgetting dem in a pinch is beside the ... mew know).

That's why I gots so many wisdomisms. Know what dem are? Liddle pearls of wisdom I found in the oysters of my lifes. That sounds nicer than "things I learned the hard way." *mewgiggles* So, wifout further adew... uh, adoo... uh .... adues ... wifout further delay:

My Wisdomisms

If mew lose a shoe at a party, the best place to look is in the freezer.

It's not wise to carry pork sausages an a diamond tiara in the same purse.

Mew can lead a boy to turkey but mew can't make him rememfur mew's there.

Nefur throw out a pizza box, dey makes good midnight snacks.

Don't tap dance in the bathtub if your meowmie is awake.

If mew must corner a mouse behind the microwave, don't make noise.

The most impurrtant question in life is: When is the next party?

Always keep snowballs in a pie pan if mew's in the house.

Sleep all day so mew can stay up all night an invite furriends over.

Don't drive under peach trees wif the top of your Mustang down.

Candles, bread wrappers, road maps and baskets are not food.

Flirt as much as possible so mew doesn't lose your expertise.

If mew hear celestial bells, there's a Tiffany's nearby.

When mew can't go to Dairy Queen and must eat catfood, refuse it.

If a boy gifs mew flowers, don't eat dem while he's looking.

Your t-shirt drawer is not the best place to keep your cell phone.

Seafood makes mew smarter but clam chowder makes mew urpy.

It's best not to practice dance steps on stairs and bridges.

The best way to wake up a sleeping meowmie is your paw in her mouth.

The proper place to get rid of a hairball is in your meowmie's slipper.

It is not refined to run into walls, try to avoid dem.

If mew turn your head away an close your eyes, humans can't see mew.

The path to the top of the fridge is strewn wif efury obstacle- except a way down.

Whatefur is on the other side of a closed door is more interesting than what's on this side.

Life is uncertain, eat dessert furst. Then again after.

I need one more to haf two fur efury year of my life so fur. Haf mew got one to share wif me?

Thank mew, Ginger, mew knew just the right one I needed:

It doesn't work to try to sneak up on geeses when mew's mewgigglin.