starring Phelicity Marie Dauphine

My sisfur was a great actress on the stage, and a gifted singer.
I'm not really eiffur one. That is, I wasn't a actress till I found the purrfect role fur me.
Efen my mom agrees I'm the best Eliza Doolittle she efur heard...... er,...saw. I does
a great Cockney wif furry impressive oowwwws, an I likes to dress up all elegant.

So I'm furry good in the furst part, cuz I does such great oowwwws! (Mew would too if mew hadda wear a green dress and looked like a mushroom in green!) Ooowwwwwwoo!!

And I'm furry good in the second part in my fancy gowns, long as I doesn't trip in dem high platform shoes I gots to wear under dem. But I'm not sposed to go oowwww no more den. I'm sposed to sing The Rain in Spain like a soprano. I'm not exactly a ..ummm, ...wellllll.......

If mew comes to see my purrformance as Eliza, I promise to gif out free earplugs
at the box office.


All I wants is a room somewheeeeeeerrrre
Far a-why from da cold night aaaaiiirrrrrr
Wif one enormous chair,
Oowwwwwwwww wouldn't it be lufferly ..

Lotsa cushions dere in my seeeeeat
Lotsa cream puffs fur me to eeeeeat
Warm fiiice, warm paws, warm feets,
Oooowwwww wouldn't it be lufferly...

Oowwww soowww lufferly sittin comfy like a bloomin queen
I would nefur budge except.......eeek! dis dress is so greeeen....

Someone dere dat is sweet an truuuuuuue
Giffin me lotsa headbumps toooooooooo
An please, oh please, a dress dat's bluuuuuuuue!
Oooowwwwww wouldn't it be lufferleeee .... lufferleeeee....
lufferleeeee....... (can I go change my dress now? 'sniff)


I could haf daaaaanced all night, I could haf daaaaaanced all night,
And still haf *ooopsy* moooore,
I could haf spreeaaddd my *whoops* and done a *oh dear* (plop)
An not been on da flooor. (groannnn)
I'll nefur knooooow what made it sooooo ungraceful *sigh*
Why all at once my feets took flight... *eeek*
I only knows dem whose not wearin platform shoes,
Dey gets to dance dance daaaaance allllllllllllllll night *whoooops*

At the Ascot Races, I only hadda sit. See dat dress? Mew try sittin in dat. But I was such a liedy... I mean lady .. dat a Hungarian prince thought I was a princess! I'm glad he wasn't from Spain. But 'enry 'iggins still didn't belief it. Efen when I said Spaaaaain.

Just mew wite, 'enry 'iggins, just mew wite.
Mew be sorry but dem tears will be too lite.
When the prince's big surprize
Is runnin off wif your Eliza,
Just mew wite, 'enry 'iggins, just mew wite.

Ooowwwww 'enry 'iggins, just mew wite until mew's fishin in the sea
Ooowwwww 'enry 'iggins, and mew think mew's gonna get the bait from me
Den I'm sure to be in sight, I'll giff mew the bite all right,
Just mew wite, 'enry 'iggins, just mew wite!


In the finale I stayed furry still. Absobloominlootly still.
I said "How kind of mew to let me come" an I didn't move.
An I didn't sing..
Dey luffed me, I was a big hit!

Don't ask about 'enry 'iggins.

The end.