Official Internet Profiles Page of Les Girls
Nicknames: BB, Pooh Bah or LB (Lard Bucket) Age: 18 (in human years, 88) Weight: I am instructed to say "None of your business". Description: Domestic mediumhair tri-color tabby, hazel eyes, full-figured. BamBam will be BB on the following list of vital statistics.
Nicknames: Mewsie, Pitty Sing, Your Majesty. Age: 14 (in human years, 72) Weight: 7 pounds if she just ate. Description: Domestic longhaired calico, silky long hair, green eyes, tall and willowy, drop-dead gorgeous. Mewsette will be MM on the following list of vital statistics.
Nicknames: Pish Tush, Princess, Angel Pie, Babycakes and numerous others too silly to mention. Age: 8 (in human years, 48) Weight: 7 pounds of angel dust. Description: Show quality Bluepoint Birman, fluffy longhair, blue eyes, petite. Phelicity will be PMD on the following list of vital statistics. Vital StatisticsBB: Hair Relocation Specialist MM: Water and Sanitation Inspector/Catsumer Advocate PMD: Freelance Projectile Carpet Design Artist Former Occupations: BB: Mother Psychiatric Counselor Screen Demolition Engineer Official New Food Taster Official Old Food Taster MM: Fashion Model Rodent Hunter Safari Guide Travel Agent Fur Beautician Official New Catnip Pad Tester PMD: Beauty Contest Show Entry Language Teacher Answering Machine Receptionist Upholstery Redesigner Human Sitter Official New Toy Tester BB: Dramatic Actress MM: Opera Singer PMD: Ballet Dancer Hobbies: BB: Eating MM: Talking PMD: Birdwatching Most proficient in: BB: Eating Staring MM: Pouting Acrobatics PMD: Hiding Purring Most Indulged Activity: BB: Heavy sleeping MM: Light napping PMD: Intermittant snoozing Area of in-house expertise: BB: Food bowl reduction MM: Rodent patrol PMD: Human control Politics:
MM: Libertarian (Total freedom from human meddling, cats do as they please.) Secretly: Monarchist PMD: Republican (Doesn't like anything to happen that hasn't happened before.) Secretly: Theocrat BB: Ozarkian Jellicle-ese MM: Latin Greek Egyptian French Norwegian Italian Arabic Gaelic Acappella Fortissimo Crescendo Texanese PMD: Hindustani Tibetan Thai Cambodian Burmese Chinese Japanese English Reading level: BB: Cat magazines in English MM: Ancient hyroglyphics and Sanskrit PMD: All sacred middle-eastern languages used in temples. Purr Levels: BB: 2 db with snorts MM: 4 db with sighs PMD: 39 db with echoes Specialty "Looks" BB: The disdainful sneer The "How dare you!" MM: The hurt-feelings sniffle The "How could you?" PMD: The wide-eyed ingenue The "How dumb do you think I am?" Nemesises. Nemesii. Whatever. BB: Other cats MM: Dogs, children, men, veterinarians PMD: Dogs, vacuum cleaners BB: Anything edible specifically not allowed. MM: 1. Chicken liver lightly sauteed in bacon grease, served room temperature in a porcelain dish shaped like a cat's head. 2. Sardine in canola oil, no tomato. 3. Fresh raw steak carefully minced and served bleeding. 4. Cheap grocery store variety of smelly tuna cat food, one tablespoon from newly opened can. 5. High quality (most expensive) deli sliced ham, two tidbits. 6: Anything she just killed herself. PMD: 1. Gerbers lamb baby food meat. 2. Cooked chicken from mom's plate. 3. Cooked lamb chop from mom's plate. 4: Medium rare steak strip from mom's plate. 5. Tissue paper. Gifts at coexisting with humans: BB: Tolerance, patience, resignation. MM: Persuasiveness, tenacity, superiority. PMD: Objectivity, adaptability, cooperation. Hospitality quotient: BB: Immediate welcome of any person with a free hand to pet. MM: Immediate disappearance and no sign she lives here unless the visitor stays over three days. PMD: Initial shyness, followed by reserved but genuine friendliness, only to those who deserve it. Most uncat-like trait: BB: Sympathy MM: Absolutely none PMD: Sharing Best qualities BB: Loyalty MM: Lovingness PMD: Everything Worst qualities: BB: Sneakiness MM: Jealousy PMD: None. Nada. Zip. Truly gifted in: BB: Expressing contempt or disgust MM: Expressing unhappiness PMD: Expressing what she wants Best illustrated philosophy of life: BB: "In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." MM: "Cats were worshipped as gods in ancient Egypt. They have never forgotten this." PMD: "A house without a cat is not a home." So say Les Girls: BamBam, huffy, puffy and grumpy old Senior Catizen; Mewsette, narcissistic, hedonistic aging beauty and Pure Cat; Phelicity, fluffy, sparkley little angel of a Cat. So say we all. This concludes the Official Profiles. Now, of course, you will want to return to:Or click on the picture to see each girl's purrsonal page!©2000 by Sharon Goodman |