About Birffdays

I gots a birffday dis monff, an dat is what's most impurrtant about April! Besides dat, it's my Sweet Sixteen birffday, a real special one!

Humans doesn't like birffdays as much as kitties does. When dey gets older, der eyes gets bad an der eye doctors say da cause is birffdays. Dey walks slower an dey says it's cuz of all dem birffdays. But still, when dey gets really really old, dey starts to brag about how many dey had! So it must get more special den.

Now I think maybe kitties can be da same way. I hadda good time an a fun party on my birffday last year, but I still didn't like bein ....older. It didn't seem as much fun as when I was 2 ..... or 7 ....... or 10. 15 felt like I oughtta just take lotsa naps. Which I sorta does ..... but dat's beside da point. But a Sweet Sixteen is a big, braggable birffday! An I knows dey gets efen more braggable, cuz my sisfur was so purroud an so happy when she got to 18, an 19. An I luffs to brag, too! Specially cuz I still looks so young an gorgeous, just like she did.

My mom gots a chart, an is it efur silly. It has kitty ages in "human years" - did mew efur see one of dem? Absotiffly posalootly dumb. According to dat chart, I'm 81 human years. Silliest thing I efur heard of! Efen my mom isn't DAT old yet, an I can see lots better dan her. I can hear better, too. Course I always could, kitties is gifted. I can still run like a race car across da room, an I'm wise enuff now dat I doesn't go Splat!! into da wall, neiffur.

Dem silly charts should be outlawed. No way can a kitty like me, in da prime of life an da zenith of wisdom, be anything like a poor old senile, shuffling, near-sighted, gimpy ....... ummmmmm.... well, I think I'll stop while I'm ahead.

But I won't stop hafing birffdays! Dey's more an more fun! An if da fire department has to come put out da fire from all my candles someday, I'll just light sommore.