Vegables
(a furry learned kitty science and nutrition report)
by Phelicity Marie Dauphine

Potatoes is a vegable, dey grows in da ground.
Some is long and oval and some is fat and round.
Dey turns into french fries and tater tots, it's true,
And fur somthing under heaps of gravy, taters might do.

BUT

Tomatoes is a vegable, dey grows on a plant.
I tries to eat a slice on a sammich, but I can't.
Dey's red, my second fafurite color right after blue,
But dey ruins steak fajitas, so tomatoes won't do.

Lettuce is a vegable, it grows in a pot.
It gets all droopy, limp and brown when summer gets hot.
Why my mom grows lettuces, I hasn't a clue.
But fur something fresh to feed da ducks, lettuce might do.

Cabbage is a vegable, a big green heavy ball.
Cabbages is scarey and dey gots no use atall.
Dey cooks it in da pot wiff corned beef, like a stew.
I gots to pick it all out, or corned beef won't do.

Beans is a vegable, no matter how dey looks,
Green and skinny, brown and fat, or how long dey cooks.
Dey gets plopped on plates too close to yummy barbeque.
I wants the brisket, ribs and wings, dem beans won't do!

Peas is a vegable, the yuckiest one of all.
Dey rolls like liddle marbles or dey bats like a ball.
Dey's only fit fur kitty toys, and dat much I knew,
But when the game is done, to call dem food won't do!

Da trouble wiff vegables is, dey's mostly all green.
And green's da worstest color I efur has seen.
But some are orangey carrots, or yella squashes, too.
Dey doesn't go in cat food! No vegables will do!

My mom gets me good cat food, and what's she gotta do?
Pick out da peas and carrots, taters, spinach pieces, phew!
And all suspicious flecks of green, dey all gots to go.
Cuz vegables isn't cat food, a fact all kitties know.

I doesn't think a vegable is even digestable!
I doesn't know of anything dat's quite so detestable!
No kitty should be fed a vegable of any sort!
If mew sees one, don't eat it. Dat concludes my report.