p r e s e n t s
GOD IS WATCHING OVER US
~~~Written by TiggerJane~~~
As I sit quietly and ponder upon the events that make up my life, there are so many things that I see.
I see my childhood, and memories come flooding back reminding me of the pain that a young child felt watching her parents separate and then finally divorce. The confusion of seeing the whole family torn apart, and the long custody battles. I then see the space of time following that where I, a bit older now, had to learn to face the reality of an abusive step parent. Instead of learning trust and security, I learned wariness and deep, deep anger.
Then I moved on to a loveless and abusive marriage. And Well. The first few years following that were so filled with bitterness and rage that no one could possibly live with the person that I had become.
You want to know the constant in my life that shows me that there is in fact a God and He is busy in my life...... and that of my family??
As a young child, I have the most beautiful and clear memory of kneeling in front of my bed.....and with tears flowing from a broken and bruised heart I asked the God I knew to come into my heart and save me. Save me from all of the brokenness, the confusion and the pain. And He came to me. Right there on the floor. He did give me salvation, but he also settled around me with his peace. A peace that I would learn to trust in and depend on, and cling to in every situation. And he gave me praise. He promises us that if we will step out from under the spirit of heaviness, he will cloak us with his garment of praise. And he became my Father.
In the new testament it says that when your mother and father forsake you then the Lord will take you up. And he did.
When I felt alone and missed my own father in my everyday life, God was there. Beside me. Giving me a peace that I couldn't begin to understand, and working in the family's hearts so that peace could dwell and I could once again have both parents in my life on a more full time basis. And when, years later, we lost my dad to a heart attack, God was still there. Filling me with peace and praise and strength, and once again becoming my Father.
The situations of my life have not always been perfect. But I would not trade even one of my heart's scars for the world's perfection. If my life had been smooth and sweet all of the time, I would never have learned to trust in the knowing in my heart concerning God and his word that I carry within me.
I learned that when life fell out from under me I had something to cling to that was Real. More real than whatever my circumstances wanted to dictate. I learned that when I drop to my knees and pray...There is a God who loves me and hears my every word.
I learned that when my heart was bruised and about to break that if I would just listen.......there would always be that small, still voice deep in my spirit, and if I could just release the pain and roll my cares and my bruises over onto God that he not only would take them from me...but he would come and settle his peace down around me and fill my spirit with not just a song...but his song.
I have learned that no matter what. He is God. And out of all of the chaos that my life has been, God has blessed me.
There isn't a day or a week that goes by without someone falling right in front of me.....hurting, broken, and too bruised to get back up and dust away the heaviness that would keep them from walking on.
And just for a sweet moment, I get to be the angel that helps them up, and dusting them off I get the privilege of sharing that All Mighty, All Consuming, and All Knowing God.
And out of the chaotic ugliness that my life has been.......comes the beauty of My Father's Grace that is so much more than sufficient to cover the bruises. And peace settles around us, and while I pray for the one in need.... healing comes. And one by one as I have prayed for the ones...so have my bruises been healed.
So, I guess the answer to your question for my life is this:
The Knowing. I know and can rest in the fact that I KNOW that wherever I am, and whatever I face, The awesome Father God that I serve is there. With each step and every breath....and even the bruises....he is there because his word promises me that he would never leave me or forsake me...and I may rest in His word and just ....KNOW.
My Love in Christ...TiggerJane....
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[This webpage was created by Kenny Mitchell and ฎ 2003 by WebUplifterMinistries]