----> p r e s e n t s: <----








If you are getting run out of town run to the front of the crowd. Make it look like you're leading a parade.



"Intelligent" is a term used to describe someone who agrees with you.

Life is like a game of golf: you drive hard to get to the green and then you end up in a hole.

I'm getting so absent-minded that sometimes in the middle of a sentence I...

When you have a lot of things to do, get your nap out of the way first.



If there are two events of equal importance they will happen at the same time.

If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.

Never say never, and always avoid always.

Whenever you need something you can't find it, if you don't need it it's all over the place.

When you have a pain someplace, everyone will hit you on that spot.



When you try to be sophisticated something will happen to make you look bad.

The person who buys the most raffle tickets has the least chance of winning.

Integrity is like oxygen. The higher you go the less there is.

There's more to life than increasing its speed.



[This webpage was created by Kenny Mitchell for the Giggle Wall and ®2003 by WebUplifterMinistries.]

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