*Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.

* Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

* Home is where the television is.

* Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.

* Death is hereditary.

* Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.



* When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

* Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else..

* Well done is better than well said.

* Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.

* They say hard work never hurt anybody, but why take the chance.



* I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

* If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

* Pessimist: A person that looks both ways when crossing a one way street.

* The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an approaching train.



* Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives.

* Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can't blame on the government.

* The evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

* There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.

* An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

[This webpage was created by Kenny Mitchell for Uplifterland and WebUplifterMinistries ®2004]



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