Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them
It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church
If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is considered rude to drive the U-Haul to the funeral home.
If drinking directly from a bottle, always hold it with your hands.
A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners are.
While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private, using one's OWN truck keys.
Even if you live alone, deodorant is not a waste of good money.
Use of proper toiletries can only delay bathing for a few days.
Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to distract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.
Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
THEATER ETIQUETTE:
Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.
Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
When approaching a four way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires does not always have the right of way.
Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back food and drinks, too.
Do not peel out with your tires while traveling in a funeral procession.
("v")--Submitted for fun by DRAYMER...