~~~~p r e s e n t s:~~~~








Buying a stronger whip.


  Changing riders.


  Threatening the horse with termination.


  Appointing a committee to study the horse.




  Arranging to visit other countries to see how others ride dead horses.


  Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.


  Re-classifying the dead horse as "living impaired."




  Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.


  Harnessing several dead horses together to increase their speed.


  Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.


  Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.




  Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead, and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.


  Re-writing the expected performance requirements for all horses.


  Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.








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