I planted some birdseed.
    A bird came up.

    Now I don't know what to feed it.


I had amnesia once -- or twice.


I went to San Francisco.
    I found someone's heart.


Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.


Protons have mass?
I didn't even know they were Catholic.


All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.


I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.


A beggar asked me for 50¢ for a sandwich.
    I said, "First let me see the sandwich."


What is a "free" gift?
    Aren't all gifts free?


They told me I was gullible ...  and I believed them.


Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.


Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.


What if there were no hypothetical questions?


One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.



When the only tool you own is a hammer,
every problem begins to look like a nail.


A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.


What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?


My weight is perfect for my height - which varies.



I used to be indecisive.
Now, I'm not sure.


The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.


How can there be self-help "groups"?


Is there another word for synonym?


Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?


The speed of time is one-second per second.


Is it possible to be totally partial?


What's another word for thesaurus?


If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?




Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?


If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?


Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.


It's not an optical illusion.
It just looks like one.


Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?





[This webpage was created by Kenny Mitchell and ®2004 by WebUplifterMinistries.]

NOW FOR SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT!