O'Reilly's law of the kitchen:

    Cleanliness is next to impossible.


Lieberman's law:

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.


Dennison's law:

Virtue is its own punishment.


Gold's law:

If the shoe fits, it's ugly.


Conway's law:

In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what is going on.
This person should be fired.


Foster's law:

A closed mouth gathers no feet.


Leech's law:

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.


Muir's law:

When we try to separate anything out by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.


Glide's formula for success:

The secret of success is sincerity.
Once you can fake that, you've got it made.


Hanlon's razor:

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.


Handy guide to modern science:

If it's green or wiggles, it's biology.

If it stinks, it's chemistry.

If it doesn't work, it's physics.


Green's law of debate:

Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.


Stewart's law of retroaction:

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.


First rule of history:

History doesn't repeat itself,
Historians merely repeat each other.


Oliver's law of location:

No matter where you go, there you are.


Harrison's law of human jealousy reflex:

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.





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