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Although I can accept talking scarecrows, lions and great wizards of emerald cities, I find it hard to believe there is no paperwork involved when your house lands on a witch. --Dave James


Let face facts, shall we? There is a very real possibility that this could also be the *last* day of the rest of your life. --Dave Henry



Sometimes I think astronauts are the luckiest people on earth, but only when they're in space. --Alan Smithee


If at first, you don't succeed, does it depress you that no one is surprised? --Jim Lockwood


Sometimes when I'm sitting in my car at a stop light, I imagine myself as Luke Skywalker, and I close my eyes and concentrate on using The Force. Sometimes I have to concentrate longer than others, but I know it works, 'cause the light always turns green. --Troy Peterson


If I had a dollar for every casino in the world, I'd probably lose it all gambling. --Paul Bartunek


I've heard people say the electric chair is "cruel and unusual", but I think it's a lot quicker and more humane than its predecessor, the steam chair. --Claire Voltaire


One day, I'm gonna finally get up enough courage to actually go skydiving, rather than just being thrown out of the plane like last time. --LeMel Hebert-Williams


I think a secure profession for young people is history teacher, because in the future, there will be so much more of it to teach. --Bill Muse


They say potato chips can be fattening. But then again, so is eating fat, and you don't see me eating fat. So get off my back about the potato chips, man. --Brian Auten





[This webpage was created by Kenny Mitchell to help with your lovely smile. ®2007OCT by UPLIFTERLAND MINISTRIES.]


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