ATTENTION: You must name this file before you can save it. Place the file name in the filename input next to the save button. cjk261510....if ref. to the previous letter that i sent to you...here is what YOU said....and I will give you my reply and try to fill in any gaps for ya..... .....you started out about Tommy....he has had a bad alcohol problem from the beginning...he was hooked on it and rx drugs...like et. xanax.....big time...that an big bottles of whiskey, beer anything alcohol....he drank all afternoon till he passed out at night...and woke up with his meds and started the same thing again....for years now... it is killing him..that is the report..he is already bleeding big time out the wazzooo and all his hair is gone...and his real mom, jackie..is in not much better shape..she is fighting cancer right now...and her hubby died last year of it.... My life is not terrible it is just NOT happening right now...I feel very alone and left behind...i am like #10 on a list of 5 important things in my wife's life....and I don't know if it is habit with her, or she doesn't realize, or what....she is a good woman, kind most of the time...but it rarely gets all the way to me....but that may be the walters in me crying out...if so..I hate myself for that emotion.... My wife says my "lack of interest" in things she likes to do...like shop for hours, stand in walmart looking at clothes until the 24 hour stores run her out...going to yard sales and looking at stuff that we don't need.....I HAVE TO HAVE A PROBLEM~!~if i am not accomplishing something with my time...why bother any more ...that is the way i feel...it has nothing to do with my meds, or LOW T---the woman's magic weapon against man....like she said...as a woman..i can fake an orgasm..but as a man....you cannot do that...but...what she doesnt realize is you (as a woman) have to appear to be interested too...if your eyes light up only when your grandchild and kids are around....then...sooner or later it is gonna take new sparks to get anything going.... but you should get the general idea....we are way out here, mom and i know noone ourselves...and her family don't come round here much anymore....dont know why...but it is just dry and even scarey sometimes..... plus...she takes care of the money...so....i feel like nothing, just the guy up stairs try to spin good will to all...while my real life is below and going nowhere.... You and I both had such a good life growing up...and we both had many breaks throughout life..i wouldnt change anything...but the older i get the less tolerant i get for the slow changes that are bugging me...i want results..like in GOOGLE...lol...not like web tv when you had to load and wait and load again.... enough enough...i know you have more of an idea now... my wife is with her kids below watching AMERICAS GOT TALENT...I HAVE NO TIME FOR TV...SUCH TRIVIAL CRAP.... BUT maybe you can get more of a feel where I am right now...and know that deep down...I have always tried to be good to people...and sometimes...it just is the hard way around how you begin to feel when you get no boomarang effect on the outcome....but i will be patient..what else can I do...I got a 76 year old mom...and I don't know a soul who could help me right now...even if I was in danger... so..on i go..thanks for reading this....please destroy and just remember....we all have those JACK days....just find other ways...probably just as bad, to deal with them... I will leave the preaching to someone else...take care...and write me anything..always glad to hear from you..tell all your family hi for me......and i am glad i have you to write this crap..hope to give you brighter stories soon... ----kenny......no joe ...please..i do not like to be called kenny joe.....! :) =====================================