Martin and I met in a cafe that I worked during the days. He was charming, sweet and in the beginning a very attentive person to me. I got pregnant from him in about 4 weeks and because I wanted to do the right thing, a week after I found out, we got married. My Wedding night consisted of him getting drunk and beating me up for the first time. He was his charming self again the next day and was sorry and all that good stuff.
In my 6th month of being pregnant he went to a party that I left because I could not handle the noise and the smoke. I agreed to pick him up at 11 pm. The party was still at full force and it took me forever to find him. He had a girl with him in one of the rooms, both more undressed then dressed.
I just looked at him and left the party, mad as hell. He followed me and another slapping round started. I ended up on the main street and he pushed me and in front of an 18 wheeler. The truck swerved and hit a small tree in the median and I just left in a hurry. Martin did not show up for 2 days and then he came with the candy and a teddy bear for the baby; and as usual I let him come back in.
Martin had one unusual talent, he knew exactly how to destroy my self-esteem, during and after the pregnancy. If we walked around window shopping he always told me how great looking all the other girls were and that I should be very happy that he is with me - nobody else would want me. He did this all the time and I believed him.

Demetrius was born on the 19th of December and I was so happy. He was a healthy boy and such an easy baby. I went back to work in the cafe during the day and left Demetruis with Martin, who never worked a day in our marriage. The physical and mental abuse got worse and so did his jealousy. Accusations of me flirting with customers and him not caring about the baby made me choose to take my 8 week old baby with me to work.
I left work one day because Demetrius had a fever and my boss let me go home early. At home I found our living room door was locked. I called out for Martin and I heard a female voice asking "who is that?" She left in a hurry and we fought again for a very long time. I started sleeping in Demetrius room on the air mattress.

On March 28th came the death of my son and the end of my life known as "Nela".

Martin and I had a fight about the bills. He did some under-the-table work for a friend and actually had some money for once, and I got paid the next day. We fought about who pays the phone bill, the rent and so on.
My main concern was food for Demetrius, diapers and clothes. At about 10 pm Demetrius woke up for his normal feeding at that time. Martin looked at me and said "I will take care of that!"
He went and got Demetrius, looked at me and smashed Demetrius against the wall, breaking his neck instantly. The only thing I saw was that he hurt my child and I literally freaked out. I attacked Martin and he took his gun out and shot me twice in my left side. I never felt a thing. I just got madder, and somehow we ended up in front of the kitchen sink. He took our biggest kitchen knife and stabbed me 7 times and then he just left.
I had a knife stuck in my kidney, two bullet wounds and a dead child in the house. I did not know that Demetrius was really dead. I called my father-in-law, who only live about 5 minutes away from us, and in my voice he heard he had to come right away.
After that, all my memory is gone except what we found out through hypnosis. I made a baby bottle and tried to feed Demetrius. This is how my father-in-law found me.

I was in a coma for 4 months and I woke up with complete amnesia. In this 4 months they buried Demetrius, imprisoned Martin for life for murder and attempted murder, and my divorce was filed and finalized. They had to remove my kidney, parts of my stomach, and I had about 4 operations done to get the big scar removed on my neck.
Because the amnesia was not from a head wound, the doctors in Germany tried something new and put me under hypnosis. It took only three tries and most of my memory came back - and with this all my pain.

If you want to read about me going down into drugs and my recovery just click on next.