The same holds true about Step 3. Deciding to do something doesn't mean we have actually done it. We can make a thousand decisions and still be sitting on the log. It is the course of action we take as a result of making that decision that gets us off the log. It is the jumping, not the deciding, that gets us off our indecision and into the program. Similarly we make a decision in step 3 but it is working steps 4 through 9 that actually do the work of turning our will and our life over to the care of God.

The main thing about understanding step 3 is to understand that NOTHING HAPPENS except the decision (and the prayer of course). The exception to this is that we may get some temporary relief from having made the decision to get well. (This will so go away if we do not follow it with action).

However deciding to go to the movies doesn't get us in the movies. For that we must get dressed; get in the car; drive the correct route; buy the tickets; get the popcorn and walk in the movie.

Deciding to get a college degree doesn't mean I immediately have one. First I have to pay the fees, enroll, go to class, and do all the studying necessary to graduate. The point is that simply deciding to do something does not mean we have done it. At the decision stage we have yet to take the action to put into effect the decision we made.

Deciding is real. Imagination or day dreaming is largely theoretical. We can never really know whether it is a figment of our imagination or a real decision until we have taken action concerning the decision or not taken action concerning the imagining or daydreaming we did. We need enough time to go by for us to look back and see what we have done and what we have not done to know whether our thoughts were just our imagination at work or whether we made a decision.

We made thousands of decisions not to drink only to find ourselves drunk the next day. Our decision was great but for whatever the reason we did not take the actions necessary to put the decision into effect. Therefore it was worthless.

Put it another way: A decision followed by no action doesn't do us any good. It wasn't the thinking that was wrong. It was the lack of action following the decision. A decision must be followed by action. Like the frogs who thought they had decided to jump but failed to actually jump, we found that we had only imagined getting sober. Like the frogs we haven't actually jumped in yet.

KNOWING THAT STEP THREE IS ONLY A DECISION OPENS THE DOOR OF OUR MINDS TO UNDERSTANDING THE FUNCTION OF THE STEPS.

In step 3 we "make a decision" between living in the problem (step one) or finding a power that will solve our problem (step two). The only thing left is putting that decision into action. This action is working the rest of the steps. It especially means working the next six steps in sequence.

If we do these steps of making an inventory, talking to someone about it, becoming ready and asking God to remove our shortcomings, making a list and then making amends, then we know we have put into effect the decision we made in step three. We will have taken the necessary actions to turn our will and our life over to the care of God. We have put the decision we made in step 3 into action in steps 4 through 9 and this action resulted in our will and our lives being turned over to God. Again steps 4 through 9 actually put into effect the decision we made in step three.

By now the reader is almost certainly saying: this is so simple that I did not need to read something else about it. Why do you bore me? Why bother me with things so elementary?

My answer to that is that in most cases the understanding of step three is still imaginary. If you doubt that then take an action to convince yourself one way or the other. The next time the chairman ask for a topic ask the group to talk about step three. Volunteer to go first. Talk about the things we have talked about in this article, that step three is just a decision step to decide between the problem (step one) and the solution (step two). Talk about steps 4 through 9 being the way the decision is put into action and becomes a reality. Then listen.

You will find that almost every other person in the room will refer directly or obliquely to "having turned their will and life over" in Step 3. IMMEDIATELY after hearing an explanation of the step they regress to this old mistaken idea. Try this experiment more than once so you can get the real impact of our lack of understanding of step three as a society.

Subconsciously we seem to know that if we insist that we have turned our will and our lives over to God in Step 3 then we do not really have to do steps 4 through 9. Of course it is not true. If it were true that we could actually turn our will over in Step 3 there would be not need to do any more steps. God is perfectly capable of caring for anything that is indeed turned over to Him.

Why then do we have such a hard time understanding Step 3? Notice that I said we had a hard time understanding Step 3--not that we had a hard time doing Step 3. We do not have a hard time doing it. We can make choices and take actions just as well as anyone. Our problem is in understanding the step.

Step 3 reads: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

If we take the words "made a decision" out of the step we are left with "to turn our will and our life over to the care of God as we understand Him." I have purposely not presented the entire wording of the step to this point because I did not want us to be distracted by this phrase. Somehow the words "to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him" distract us so much that we fail to understand the entire step.

My experience tells me that when I cannot understand something that is simple it may be because I have some aversion to that understanding. This aversion is usually a fear so great that it prevents my mind from understanding. But what is that fear?

Just what is it about the words-- TO TURN OUR WILL AND OUR LIVES OVER TO THE CARE OF GOD AS WE UNDERSTAND HIM --that scares and confuses us?

The reason I didn't understand it was because I was born in the bible belt and attended what can only be described as a backward country church. My fear of God and religion was so great that when I saw anything that smacked of God I immediately became an babbling idiot.

My religious training was by proclamation. You didn't think or you might ask questions that the elders (in any sense of the word) didn't want to have to try to answer. So whenever I heard the word god I immediately became so afraid that I could not reason. To an extent that is still true today. I can only wonder how much education--and wisdom--this fear has caused me to miss.

The second reason I didn't understand step three is that if I admitted to myself that I understood it correctly, then I became responsible for working the next six steps. I couldn't hide behind the phrase "I turned it over to God and now it's up to Him." I had to be responsible and take decisive action. I had to really take the inventory and talk to someone about it. I had to actually ask for the elimination of my shortcomings, some of which I loved. I had to really make amends to those I had harmed.

Source: R.F. Hale AA Alcoholism & Recovery WebSite

© 2003-2022 gts-today all rights reserved