Facts of Life, from a Goppie standpoint.
I need a picture here of a Grumpy Old Person standing and pointing. (If you find one, let me know.) In my mind, such as it is, Facts of Life are simply things you can't avoid.
I deal with Facts by making lists. That's the only logical way to deal with them, in my opinion. I am a list-maker extraordinaire. Whether anything on them ever gets done or not is beside the point; it's still a most impressive array of lists.
Do you conduct your life with lists?
I deal with Things, however, real Things that you have to move around because they're there, by making piles. I have Piles on every flat surface in the house and some that aren't. Each Pile has its designated purpose, and woe is me if I put something in the wrong pile. I won't find it again until next January, if ever.
Do you conduct your life with piles?
If you answered yes to either or both of the above questions, keep reading, you'll understand.
If you answered no to both of the above questions, you might be an Organized Person. You might not even possess any clutter. You won't understand at all.
First there are my Lists:
- My list of things to do today.
My list of things to do this month.
My list of things to do before I die.
My list of lists I lost.
And among the lists of things I lost:
My list of important papers I lost.
My list of favorite wearing apparel I lost.
My list of recipes I lost.
My list of people whose addresses I lost.
My main "Search For" list- that's the important one.
My list of which lists my cat ate.
I keep a Menu List taped to the inside of a cupboard door so I can remember what I'm supposed to eat. (It actually says "Din-din", not "Menu".) This is necessary for anyone whose grocery list is always lost.
- My Menu List for the single:
Mon.: Simple but elegant repast of baked chicken breast with wild rice and sauteed mushrooms.
(What I ate: a can of mini ravioli.)
Tues.: Small but perfectly broiled filet with baked potato and chives.
(What I ate: a can of pork & beans.)
Wed.: Exquisitely moist halibut portion in butter sauce with parsleyed noodles.
(What I ate: a can of pea soup.)
Thurs: Small and tender lamb chop with new potatoes and snow peas.
(What I ate: a whole bag of tortilla chips.)
Fri.: One small manacotti with Italian sausage and parmesan cheese.
(What I ate: a pop tart I found in my purse.)
Weekends are no problem because I love to be home for a nice breakfast at a civilized hour, such as 11 A.M. For most of my Goppie life, I have raised my own eggs (this is done using feathers and cracked corn) and therefore always had a few dozen around. So on weekends I just have breakfast for brunch and breakfast again for dinner. It works for me.
Last but not least, my List of healthy stuff I really must consume is taped to the Menu List. Every time I find it, that's where I tape it. It isn't there right now, but I'm sure it isn't lost. It's not on my Search list.
Then there are my Piles:
- The pile of things I absolutely have to do tonight.
The pile of stuff I will really try to get at next weekend.
The pile of work I should have done so long ago that it really doesn't matter now.
The pile of projects I have no intention of doing, ever.
Piles are also just repositories of:
Mail I got today and didn't throw out yet.
Mail I got a month ago and never opened.
Catalogs received in the last month that I may move to the nightstand to look at.
Catalogs received in the last five years that I might need someday.
Catalogs I want to go through and cut things out of before disposing of them. (Don't ask.)
Readers Digests. (Everybody has a pile of those.)
Those are just the piles generously supplied to me by the mailman. They mostly reside in the kitchen so I can spill stuff on them.
The kitchen table piles are smaller, because once in a while I eat there. They only include:
Photos I didn't send my relatives last year.
Photos I won't send my relatives this year.
Reminders of phone calls I don't want to make.
Postage stamps that don't add up to 33¢.
Things I tried to fit in my purse and couldn't.
The living room piles are slightly more upscale. They include:
Books I want to read.
Websites I want to visit.
Cat magazines to be kept forever.
Other magazines to be kept until I don't want to read them any more.
E-mail printouts in neat folders, one for everybody I know and two each for my cats.
Some of these piles multiply themselves at an alarming rate overnight when I'm not looking, while others tend to migrate to the bedroom all by themselves, where they have been known to disappear for years or until I move to another state. Such is the nature of Piles. You just can't trust them.
In closing (I have to say that to make myself do it):
You see that Goppie life can be conducted quite satisfactorily by the simple use of Lists and Piles. I don't recommend it, of course. I never recommend anything. If I did, I'd have to start another list.
Thanks for reading.
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