Phurry Pheline How-to: How to Dance
by Phelicity
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Kitties who dance are not new at all, not even furry unusual. When you think how graceful we are, how delicately we step, our flying leaps over the sofa and tumbling acrobatics, it's not surprising that we are good dancers. What's surprising is that sometimes our humans don't know that's what we're doing. How can they miss it? These days, at least, we are getting a little publicity about our dancing. That's good.
Have you seen pictures of dancing cats and thought, oh, you could never do that? But of course you could! And just to get you started, here are some dance steps that you will find furry easy to learn. I have been doing these myself for a long time! And so can you.
1. The Swish'n Bump
This was the first dance I learned and still my favorite, but you need a partner. So get your meowmie to stoop down to pet you, with one knee stuck out. Begin by bumping her knee with your head and swish away past to bump something else in the room, a chair leg, the bed corner, whatever's there. Turn back, keeping time, swishing your tail, and bump her arm. Make a graceful figure eight as you swish over to bump her knee again. You can do small figure eights; knee, arm, knee, arm, or as you get better at swishing, you can dance farther from her, dancing over to bump whatever else is handy so you can make some elegant long swishes going back. (I don't recommend bumping another cat who happens to be sitting there.) You can bump her knee twice and really rub, as long as you swish in rhythm with your tail. An added benefit there is that it's a great way to scratch your ears. And as you become expert, lead into:
2. The Paws'n Dip
This is an extension of the first dance, when you pause, keeping time only with your swishing tail and lifted paw. Dip a little to let your meowmie run her hand down your side; not once, not three times, but exactly twice. Then continue on to bump-bump the nightstand, and swish back for another paws'n dip. Meowmies love that part, and they'll stoop there patiently as long as you want to dance.
3. The Watusi Wiggle
This step is best done on a scratch pad or nubby throw rug, where you can get good traction by digging your front claws in. Scratch and dig in, wave your tail elegantly and wiggle your rear end; then again, dig, wave, wiggle, wiggle, and then jump forward to complete the step. Back to the pad and dig, wave, wiggle, wiggle - for as long as it feels good!
4. The Chinchilla Hop
Some of us can hop like a bunny, but this is actually an intricate ballet-type of leap. My mom said the only two beings she ever saw who could do this were a chinchilla rabbit and me. You need a human waving a toy on a wand so you can jump at it, but not an ordinary jump. Begin your graceful leap into the air at the toy, but turn in the opposite direction in the split second you're in the air, so you come down facing the other way. Then leap at the toy, turning again, and you're facing front. This is done soooo fast, your human will be amazed!
5. The Tappity-Tap
This one is best performed on top of a human who is lying in bed, perhaps foolishly thinking they were going to get some sleep when you want to dance. It's just like tap dancing, and it came about from me walking back and forth across my mom. I thought, why walk if I can dance? Don't try this one if you are awfully big; humans like it more if you only weigh 6 or 7 pounds, like me. Just step up on the human - their rib cage area is good and sometimes flat - with one front paw, tap tap. Then the other front paw, brush, tap. Then both hind legs, shuffle, tap. Shuffle, tap. Then tappity front, shuffle tap rear, and you're tap dancing! You may have to stop, because a human laughing is moving her rib cage too much.
6. The Scottie-dog Shuffle
I'm only including this one to prove it is a dance step, and Not just some weird thing I do! I'm embarrassed to say the name of it, but that's what my mom calls it, sigh. You need a small throw rug. This is a good way to work off little aggravations we get, like meowmies laughing at us. Go to the rug and put only your hind feet on it. Then shuffle, shuffle left and shuffle, shuffle right with a two-step rhythm. It's furry invigorating and helps keep those hind claws in good shape. And it is Too a dance step!
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Which dance step do you think I'm performing here? That's right!
Isn't dancing fun? It's furry good exercise, too, and it gets you lots of attention from your appreciative audience! So dance efury chance you get!