The first Golden Girl is BamBam. She is a tri-color medium haired domestic cat of almost 19 cat years, translating to age 90 in "human years". She's a lot like Dorothy, grumpy, but she's older than Sophie. The second Golden Girl is Mewsette. She is a drop-dead gorgeous longhaired calico of 15 cat years, translating to age 76 in "human years". She's a lot like Blanche, dramatic and a little hedonistic. The third Golden Girl is Phelicity. She is a small, elegant Blue-point Birman of angelic countenance and disposition, only 9 cat years old, translating to age 52 in "human years". She's a lot like Rose, except she is extremely smart.
 Fully on display, come to think of it, that's where. That lady considers herself Queen of all she surveys. She doesn't accept old age gracefully at all; why, to hear her tell it, she's still a young heartbreaker who can have anything she wants. And then there's the matter of dear little perfect Rose ...er, Phelicity. She's just a bit old to be the perpetual innocent ingenue. She may have Dorothy fooled with her charitable notions and selfless behavior when observed. But I can tell you that little lady has a monarch complex. Just try to pass by into what she considers her territory, and you get the Warrior Queen to deal with. She used to be nicer to me than that. Granted I never had much use for her being around, but how dare she treat me disrespectfully! Hummph. Well, now I ask you! This is Mewsette speaking. What nerve! What a mouth that Sophie ...er, ..BamBam has! She should talk about resorting to dramatics just to get attention! We get at least two lengthy performances of Camille per week from her, let me tell you! While I am simply keeping my talents as an actress honed with a nice Vivien Leigh rendition of how I always depend on the kindness of my friends. You know, from when she played Blanche DuBois in Streetcar Named Desire. Ahem.  My behavior is always circumspect and befitting a southern lady of extreme charm, such as I. I don't go about slapping ladies who get in my way like BamBam does, nor do I purposely conspire to always be sitting where somebody else wants to sit, like Phelicity. I am too tactful to even mention the matter of my favorite window, which a certain small lady with no better sense than Rose persists in hogging, precisely one second before I get there. Excuse me, please. This is Phelicity. I refuse to be called Rose; I'm smarter than that. My name is Phelicity, with a "Ph", thank you very much. Well, ye gods and little fishes, what did I ever do to bring all that on? I've lived my life in a simple and altruistic manner, making no mention of my illustrious ancestry and expecting no special treatment, and I have treated BamBam and Mewsette with kindness and respect all my days. Needless to say, I'm becoming aware that it does me no good. I still get not one modicum of respect from either of them! And because I'm not the little dingbat they expect me to be, they are both quite shocked when I assert myself.  Furthermore, we have plenty of good things to eat around here, if we're not too ancient to indulge in them! And furthermore, my room is my room, and if a certain old lady knew how to behave in polite society, she might be welcome. I don't have problems with Mewsette's company; it's she who is so out of sorts if I happen to sit where she wants to. Now I ask you! Since when can she own every spot in the house? Except for my room, that is. Which is mine. 
Right! There's no better company for older ladies, after all, than other older ladies. We understand and er, ..tolerate each other so well. Who could do it better than the Golden Girls? Any questions? Shut up, Rose.
 Banner above by a friend in the Older Cats Society of CLAW All rights reserved. 
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